We missed out on our big start because the Van Dunk Brother didn't know and had already started. So out of respect to them the world record began quietly.

The Van Dunks and The String Quartet were superb. Another street theatre company performed to our right at various times and they just seemed to ask us to be quiet all the time. Fortunately it rained and all the professional acts went indoors, leaving us, the hard men of street theatre out in the rain, where we were free to be noisy and more entertaining. In the photo above you can see the local artists of Toozali and Misguided Tours supporting us.

The world record attempt for my walk of death suffered for the rain but we had some daft stuff happening for those that stayed on.

Straight Jacket Escape Escapology, now that I am twice the bodyweight, out of practice and not nearly so supple. At least making it look difficult was so much easier than the last time I tried this... Below Wyn Jones has just performed this with some finesse before sugesting that I have a go...

I wasn't allowed to break contact with my audience even to go to the toilet. Our original solution for this was a Puppet Booth with a portaloo. However, a far better solution presented itself. I simply led my audience to the stair well leading down into the lavatories and made a drama out descending into the hole, I then gave a comic commentary on fictional events inside the loos while nature took her course.

During the night, when I did this I emerged to find my audience had hidden behind some cars.

Paul Perrot managed to persuade McDonalds to send out a tray of tea and coffee at about 9pm. Mmmmmm!

Don't you wish your girlfriend was NOT like me. By morning, lack of sleep allowed the delusion that I was an object of desire.

Students can be very useful, and lots of them on half term, too poor to go to night clubs but determined to have a good time congregated on the Guildhall steps. They were very supportive, cheeky, funny and kind... and Gullible. My ghost story made most of them leap out of their pants.

Then at about 1am a former colleague from The Jobcentre arrived with a friend and I had an intimate audience for over an hour before Taxi Drivers and drunk people coming home from the clubs came around to support me.

It got very cold at about 5am and we were wet, the wind picked up and our morale diminished. We were tempted to quit but I ran the engine in the van and made Jason sit in it in the warm for a whole hour while we amused ourselves by pretending that the windscreen was a TV and I pretended to be a host of terrible obscure sattelite presenters.

The genius who made me do this on the Monday has to be praised because by 6am we were enjoying hot cups of tea provided by the market traders.



So by 6.30 I'm on my stilts playing a game of making the early motorists wave at my flag. Jason was counting the thumbs up and we were discussing the various reactions from passers by. Some people looked at me as though I am mad. Some of them waved back, stuck thumbs up, pulled faces, tooted and a few of them managed to pretend not to notice.

By 8.30am I was back on my feet and accosting passers by. It got chaotic. Loads of people came and started to join in the show. Jugglers, diabolists, acrobats from Latvia, eccentric old gentlemen who could croon. It got blurry, the time passed and at about 11.30 I had my first dizzy spell. Then the proffessionals arrived. Barney Bay and Wyn Jones (who both know my show very well) were suggesting things, directing me, challenging me. Small children were putting money into the collection tin. Some very festive children wearing diddly boppers came and sat down. Somebody gave me a chair so I told another story...

5pm:  Story  “The Heart of St George.” A story that explores the often lost and hidden meaning behind the Martyrdom of St George and the issues behind a loving relationship with God and a subservient relationship with tyranny.  With the help of a dragon on stilts and a real knight the world will see the tale as it has never been told before.

7pm:  Story  "Contempt of Court" In 2003 Jonathan the Jester became the first Jester since Archi Armstrong to appear in a crown court, dressed in full motley, charged with “Contempt of Court.”  Owing to a bizarre series of unfortunate events and some incredible miscommunication Jonathan the Jester found himself in the dock in front of an angry judge.  Not quite the George Galloway Hearing, but easily as passionate and far funnier.   The exchanges were heated.  As one journalist put it.  “Ive never heard somebody shout at a crown court judge and get away with it before.”   Unlike the George Galloway hearing, both the Judge and Jonathan were reconciled and Jonathan went on to be Foreman on the Jury.

Midnight:  Story  “The Stolen Finger.”  This is a well rehearsed re-working of a traditional horror story.  Upon hearing that a local lady was buried wearing a valuable ring, two brothers decide to dig up the freshly buried grave and steal it.   A perfect crime?  Well they soon discover that getting a coffin out of the ground isn't as simple as you may think, especially if you believe in the supernatural.

Other events include:

   Heavy Metal Morris Dancing
     A demonstration of extremist Agnostic Fundamentalism
       The Bucket of Doom and Escapology Sack
          And much much much much more..........

Will anyone watch the WHOLE event?

The Chosen Charities

Jonathan is hoping to raise £6,000 for three charities he has chosen, these are

The Mayor of Salisbury's Appeal
South Wiltshire Advocacy Network

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